Today at work we were informed from 'above' that our lap tops that we are encouraged to take home are not ours. Well of course I know that I am not the official owner. But I thought I was free to use it as I please. Not so. NO personal email. NO personal networking (ie. facebook) NO online purchasing. NOTHING that isn't work related.
Ouch. You see this is my computer. My only computer. Of course I do tons of personal stuff on it. When they passed them out last August, the message was this is yours, have fun. Have you ever seen a blog posted during my work hours ? I don't think so. Maybe, but certainly not more than once or twice. The same cannot be said for many bloggers.
I do check my email during work hours. I guess this is my warning to quit. But I've been checking my email at work since I started working ! That's a six year habit that will be really hard for me to break. Especially because I have a job that totally disconnects me from the outside world. I don't have a phone. If you ever wanted to contact me, you really can't. Except electronically.
My mom made the point that the public is upset that we have laptops. Huh ?? Public ? Are you upset ? Do you feel that your money is wasted because I have a laptop ? Really ? Teachers really are under a lot of scrutiny. I generally don't think about the negative sides of my profession because it's just brings me down. But this is something that really impacts me and I can't ignore how I feel about it. I have always felt the pressure to be an extra good citizen. I don't swear, I smile when I see parents in the community, I don't do inappropriate things, I went to Church. I don't know that too many other careers require such a squeaky clean lifestyle. It's not like it's difficult for me. But this will be.
Now to respond to how my laptop is extremely useful as a teaching tool. It's not paper. Paper gets lost. Every single time I evaluate, I use the computer. Given my current position, my observation is generally the preferred method. So I observe, I take notes on each child, I evaluate. If I had a desktop computer that faced the wall, this would be impossible. So I sit where is most convenient, open my file and go. My older students know their mark, their percentage and their cumulative score immediately. As well, my evaluations will never be lost. They as safe and secure.
There is also the creation of materials. Anytime, any place. And that is the way it works. I think that most of my readers know that this is not a 8:30-4:00 job. In my current position I find or write out the words to songs we sing, I buy music on itunes, I use you tube for a number of things, one of them being inspiration for my students, another being learning skills to teach.
As well, I use technology in the classroom, as we are all encouraged to do. Students use my laptop to work and research. I use it in conjunction with the data projector. Just a few examples.
Basically, this is a tool that costs tax payers between $125 and $175 a year. That's just my personal estimate. And it makes my job more effective and easier. My job is not easy. Something that makes it easier is good. I doubt that the savings would even come close to paying for the cost of my computer. However, there are savings in the photocopying that I no longer do.
Finally, how is it harmful that I also use this computer as my personal computer ? It does not reduce my effectiveness as a teacher. It does not impact the professional use of my computer.
So public, how do you feel ?
It is the end of April. It's a sunny day. The time is coming to sell my baby. I said I was going to do it Spring 2008. We have arrived. The good news is that there are two other similar models to my baby for sale in the city at good prices. Better than what I thought ! The bad news is that there are two other similar cars for sale. And they're not sold.
Do I dare sell my car before I buy another ? Do I risk the perils of public transport ? Can I bike to work ? I think so. So I just need to get healthy enough to wash my car and put it on the market !
If stories of my weekend aren't enough, how about Monday morning. When I'm kinda running late. And I lock my door by turning the knob. Then I shut the door. Then I reach for my keys. And realize they are on the counter. *&?*&?*
Luckily....
1. I tend to have presence of mind in an emergency situation. I know, nobody was dying. However, being late for work is a minor emergency.
2. My neighbour was home, I used his phone and alerted my school.
3. My neighbour is nice, he drove me to my parents.
4. I live in the same city as my parents and they have keys for my house.
5. Despite the key not being in it's normal location, I was quickly able to locate it.
6. My car started. It almost didn't. NEED NEW CAR NOW !
7. There is no traffic in this city at that late hour, I was quickly able to get to school.
8. I was only 7 minutes late and nobody was terribly put out.
Disaster averted. Okay, not disaster, but everything worked out all the same.
I am a part of a non-splurge group. That means that girls hang out but we don't give each other money. I love it ! When I first entered the work force I was a part of a splurge that gave about $200 to the winner with the explicit rules that you must spend the money on yourself. I was 23, I lived with my parents. I already spent all of my money on myself so enforcing that as a rule was dumb. In my case. I had to be able to show and tell what I purchase at the following meeting. I made something up.
I much prefer this splurge where we get together just to visit. This time was my turn to host ! I can tell that I have changed completely. I used to dread having people over. The cleaning, the cooking, it was just a lot of pressure. There was too much to clean, I never knew what to cook. I always enjoyed having the people over. Well today, my living room was covered in taxes and legal mubmo-jumbo and my kitchen was fairly dirty. And I arrived home from a catastrophic trip from the grocery stores, yes, stores at 6:30. And I told people to come for 8. Normally this would send me into a frenzy. This time I wanted a nap. I didn't take a nap. I cleaned a bathroom. Then my mom stopped by. (can you hear the chorus of angels from above ?) She offered to do my dishes. I said no, because then I would have to tell people that she did my dishes. She assured me that I would not have to tell. Just you, the internet, because we don't keep secrets like that. I sorted the living room papers into recycling vs. stuff that can sit on the desk in the office. In the past, this would not have worked. I would have had to take the recycling in and organize the stuff on the desk because people might see the desk. I know. Slightly illogical, especially given my time frame. My mom did a little more than the dishes, the kitchen was clean. Wahoo ! I had 14 minutes to clean myself. I made the executive decision that cooking could happen in front of company.
I think that making the appetizers in front of people was the way to go. It works with my kitchen set up because I'm not separate from the guests while I'm in the kitchen. It also worked that the first two people arrived at about the same time because I can't really chat and cook very effectively. When things were ready, they were hot ! Had I cooked the bruschetta, the quesedillas and the wedges ahead of time, they would have been cold and hard. I realize that were I an amazing blogger, I would have pictures. Alas, sans photo once again.
I enjoy seeing these girls. I was invited into the group and these would not be people I would see otherwise. But just because they are not a part of my usual circle does not mean they are not great ! Of those in attendance, they are all part of a couple. This made me want to be a part of a couple ! I'm not whining, merely informing those of you reading of my progress ! Not so long ago I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that all men were CREEPY ! So obviously I don't feel that way anymore. I'm starting to forget the unhappiness of, well, a long time. I'm not fully convinced, but there is possibility that one day I could be. Possibly.
I actually look forward to my next hosting event, for my book club, sometime in May.
If we're celebrating global warming, why is it snowing ? I'm not even thinking of it as a return to winter. I lived through winter. This is just a short interruption in an otherwise lovely spring. Sandals and skirts are just around the corner, right ?
Speaking of the season, my skating show is on Sasktel Max ! If you have Max it's on channel 48 as Skate Regina. I'm in the first group.
I have a friend who once visited India. I believe she decided to study Buddhism and meditated at a centre for 13 days. For 13 days she was sitting on a mat from earlier than sunrise to later than sunset. Just concentrating on nothing.
I wouldn't last 5 minutes. Yesterday I left my house to prepare for the job I was missing because I was sick. Upon return to my house I was free to move around. Not that I did very much of that. I experimented with vertical and horizontal positions on my couch. I googled. I watched boring tv. My mom came over a few times to take care of me. But OMG, was I bored. So bored that I went to work today. With a fever. I was told repeatedly through the day to go home. I had to talk to my principal and she said we would talk Monday and that I had to go home.
I just feel hot and weak. Not in a good way, obviously. I'm not that sick, but all I can really do is be bored. I can't take the boredom ! Please, come visit me ! Physically would be preferable, but virtually is acceptable.
Word on the street, or in my doctor's office, is that Illness 2008 is Strep Throat ! This diagnosis has not been confirmed for me by lab results but given that every child she has seen has Strep Throat and I show the signs, she signed me up for some antibiotics. I am getting better acquainted with my couch and the internet. Obviously I'm a little bored. I had planned on feeling better after 24 hrs. Not so much. Oh well. It's better than Bronchitis 2007.
First of all, I'm losing my mind. This doesn't merit and exclamation mark, it's merely a fact. I'm fuzzy on details. I have a really hard time making simple decisions. Now, if you know me, I am NOT someone that is fuzzy on details. I am really quite good with details. I remember middle names, birthdays, situations and circumstances. Normally, I'm quite impressive. I would give an example of how this ability is escaping me, but that's part of it. I don't remember. Those who know me will also know that making decisions is not my strong suit so having trouble is no surprise. But I'm having more trouble than usual.
I have been fighting a cold (and winning !) for over a week. Cold has decided to step it up a notch and throw a fever at me. Just a mild one, I'm still fighting it. And blogging at 11:30 just to prove it can't get me down. So the memory and other brain functions could have to do with being mildly sick. They could also have to do with the lack of meat in my diet. When I was in Montréal, I went for supper with six girls. This would fall under the tile of : Debauchery, Complete and Total. One was a stuck-up beotch that goes to med school in NYC and is therefore a goddess that can insult me and my province. ARG! But I'm not telling you about her. Another one of the girls, are really nice girl, was telling me that she quit eating meat and lost her mind. She did give a medical explanation and examples, but this was a bring your own wine place, and we followed the rules, so for that reason, the exact details are fuzzy. Not because I'm losing my mind. But I am all the same. Still following ?
So based on the fact that I haven't cooked meat in about 3 months, I am slightly ill, just slightly, and I know that spaghetti sauce makes me feel better, I made spaghetti sauce with meat, ground beef to be exact, for supper. The smell of the meat cooking was not pleasant. But I managed. I added two kinds of onion, GARLIC, tumeric because Haley told me it's magic, lots of spice to scare the bacteria, ginger because I thought it might help and tons of the other regular spaghetti sauce spices. It worked for about and hour. Then the fever came back.
I was in the middle of a meeting. So I just sad quietly. That's what I would have done anyway. Oh ya, I also volunteered my dad for a major role in the committee. Hope you don't mind, Pa. After the meeting, which was held in a grocery store, I picked a few things up, including water. Smart peope to build a community meeting room in the grocery store. We all have a few things to pick up. Then I took that water bottle and went to the gym. At 9pm. With my fever. Because I'm a fighter ! And I took it easy. Only 20 minutes on the eliptical, no weights. I still pushed. And I felt better.
But back to supper and the meat. I managed to eat it just fine. But my hands smell like McDonald's ! I worked there 12 years ago but instantly recognized the smell. But I haven't been to McDonald's ! It was on my hands from cooking the ground beef. Eww. Back to only eating meat at other people's houses, despite the possible reprecussions to my mental health.
So support me in the fight against Illness 2008. I'm sure you remember Bronchitis 2007. I just need to hold on for a little while longer....
Thanks Karma !
Love, Five
This afternoon a boy and his parents came to check out my house as a place to rent. For the boy. Not the parents. It would be for four months. I'm a fan of four months. Helps me out for the summer and I can see if I really want to have a roommate.
They were very nice people. And think I'm a very nice person. Because of course, I am. He's a kid leaving home for the first time. This is great ! I get to train him ! Of course what I mean by that is I can be bossy and tell him he has to do his dishes. This is a definite theme with me. The cleanliness of pots and glasses. I am happy that I met the parents because I can tell that he grew up in a nice family, like my own and I feel much more comfortable about the whole stranger aspect.
So Karma, can we get along now ? Because if you're still angry, then it means that my impressions are wrong, they were lying when they said it sounded perfect and they won't call back. So please Karma, have pity on me. Let's be friends.
